That self-blame after a loss is one of the heaviest things to carry - and it's incredibly common, even when everyone around you is telling you it wasn't your fault. A woman in a grief group I used to follow online shared something similar; she lost her dad unexpectedly and spent almost a year replaying every conversation, convinced she'd missed signs. Someone in the group pointed her toward cognitive processing therapy for sexual assault survivors  and she said it was the first real explanation of why the brain gets stuck in that guilt loop - and what CPT actually does to untangle it. A solid starting point before reaching out to a therapist.